Advice To My Eighteen Year Old Self

When I was a teenager, some of my peers wished they were adults.

When I was a teenager, some of my peers wished they were adults. This was something I could not relate to at all. Back then, I thought change was horrible, and I viewed becoming an adult as one of those transitions I could do without. However, life has repeatedly taught me that some things are unavoidable. You may be able to avoid them in the short term, but in the long run, you will have to deal with them whether you like it or not. If I were to meet my eighteen-year-old self, there are a few things I would say to her to make her transition into adulthood a little smoother.

Navigating Uncertainty: A Normal Part of the Journey

I was a mostly sheltered child, and because of that, there were many things persons my age would talk about that I could not relate to or understand. The comments and looks that passed when I expressed my lack of understanding made me very self-conscious. That feeling caused my already introverted self to withdraw even further into myself. I shied away from attention and remained quiet rather than join conversations around me.

Overcoming Self-Doubt

That feeling of lack seeped into other parts of my life; I found it difficult to make decisions and share my opinions, and I tried to avoid the spotlight and big decisions as much as possible.

Thankfully, many years have passed, and I have grown tremendously. Eighteen-year-old me, I would find my current self quite knowledgeable and experienced, but sometimes, I still feel as unsure as that eighteen-year-old girl when I am faced with new. So, the advice I would give to my eighteen-year-old self is the same advice I would give my current self.

The Power of Knowledge: Fueling Your Growth

If you don’t know something, find ways to become knowledgeable. Ask yourself, “What am I interested in?”  Read books, listen to podcasts and audiobooks, attend seminars, or pursue education. When you reach age twenty-one and look back, you will be amazed at how much knowledge you have gained in just three years! Get excited about learning new things, applying that knowledge to your life, and sharing it with others.

The Importance of Community: Seeking Support

When I was eighteen, I felt like I had something to prove, and asking for help made me feel like a failure. However, over the years, I have learned that everyone needs support. At eighteen, when you’re just starting in life, you will need help and advice.

“No man is an island”, so do not go through life alone. Sometimes, you may struggle to find your desired support system, but be patient. Finding the people you truly mesh with may take a while, but you will get help from people who do not exactly fit your perfect description for a mentor or friend. Without community, you will travel down a long and lonely road. Life is better when you have community.

A Flexible Plan: Embracing Change

By age eighteen, you will most likely be graduating from high school. During that season, many well-meaning people will ask, “What are your plans now?”  You may not have any answers to that question (I did not), but even if you did have answers, understand that you do not have to stick to the plans you made at eighteen. You have the right to change your mind.

Make plans, but make them flexible. There is a lot of information you do not have yet. Pick a field and plan for it long-term, but give yourself the space and grace to change your mind later. If you are interested in more than one area, branching out into another field is okay. Live a little and explore; the more you do, the more you will be exposed to things you may like. Take short-term courses in various fields to glimpse what it entails. While you’re doing this, make sure you enjoy life. Take breaks, spend time with friends, walk, and laugh. As you grow older and experience life more, you will gain clarity, and the path you want to take will become clearer.

The Value of Hard Work: Striving for Excellence

Apply yourself – Whatever you choose to do, do it well.

Sometimes, you will feel tempted to throw in the towel early in your adult life. You may feel lost and overwhelmed with all that seems to be coming at you at such a young age. You may fear failing and would rather do the least than feel like you’ve made so much effort for nothing. Fight that feeling. If your hard work is not appreciated, determine if you are operating outside your boundaries. If you are, recalibrate and keep applying yourself. Do not focus on what others are doing or not doing. And do not make the mistake of comparing yourself to others.

Comparison either makes you feel inferior or superior to others. Neither honours God.—Craig Groeschel.

Colossians 3:23 says, “Work willingly at whatever you do, as though you were working for the Lord rather than for people.” When you keep striving to do your best (not to be mistaken for perfectionism), you will realise that you keep growing and expanding your knowledge.

The Art of Patience: Taking Your Time

Do not rush the process – take your time and enjoy life.

If you read “in just three years” at the first point and thought, “a whole three years!” this advice is especially for you. Sometimes, you may feel like life is passing you by. Your past classmates may be doing things you cannot afford to do yet, or some life event may derail your plans. Do not let this discourage you; do not compare your timeline to someone else’s. No two lives are meant to be the same. Your contribution to the world may look different from mine, but it is just as important.

Go at your own pace and ensure you choose a path that works for you. Do not try to fit into someone else’s story.  Remember, you only see one small portion of someone’s story. If you saw everything they went through to get where they are, you may change your mind about envying them.  It is dangerous to compare what you know about your life with the little you know about someone else’s life.

There is no reason to rush through life. So many paths can bring you fulfilment if you stop, take the time to evaluate and avoid comparing with others. Yes, some of your eighteen-year-old peers may be travelling the world, starting their degree, or joining a company you admire. But that is not YOUR journey.

Celebrating the Journey: Savor the Small Wins

Make time to celebrate your small victories—do not minimise them. Decide what your next move will be. Leave enough time to nurture your friendships and networks. Make time to relax. Life was meant to be enjoyed and savoured. Please do not leave it until you are 80 and retired.
Even so, I have noticed one thing, at least, that is good. It is good for people to eat, drink, and enjoy their work under the sun during the short life God has given them and to accept their lot in life. (Ecclesiastes 5:18)

A Final Word

There it is! Five things I would love to tell my eighteen-year-old self. What about you? What advice would you give to your eighteen-year-old self? Share in the comments below!

If you enjoyed reading the advice I would give my eighteen-year-old self, you may like this other post.

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